In Defense of Tyga

Last week, Harvard announced that Tyga -- of Rack City fame -- would be headlining our yearly Yardfest concert. It should be noted that Yardfest is, historically, the most disappointing music event known to the collegiate universe. This is because Harvard would rather treat us like garbage while we are students, and then spend tens of thousands of dollars on giant red velvet cakes to court us as alumni. For context, last year's performer was Das Racist; before the College Events Board announced Tyga for this year, they were rumored to be considering Panic! At The Disco. This actually makes some sense, as most Harvard students -- especially the types who would serve on the College Events Board -- were probably too busy prepping for the SAT to have listened to music since 7th grade.

Anways. Last night, a Harvard student started a petition to disinvite Tyga from Yardfest on grounds of mysogyny, which quickly obtained 1,000+ signatures. Although a Tyga Cub by nature, I have also experienced first-hand -- in ways great and small, ranging from uncomfortable to downright offensive -- the effects of Harvard's male-dominated culture. Therefore I felt it was my responsibility to weigh in on this issue.

My opinion is that directing outrage at Tyga ignores and in a way trivializes the very real problems of sexual assault at Harvard. Obviously, Tyga's music showcases a lot of the cultural problems at play here. I'm not going to offer an alternative interpretation of the lyrics, "I like how she merry-go-round round the pole/Pose, ha, open, close./I like when my bitches don't wear no clothes." But rapists (at Harvard at least) don't rape because of Tyga. They do it because of Harvard's broken disciplinary system ("oh, you sexually assaulted some girl? Why don't you take this term to do a fancy internship somewhere and come back next year"). They do it because Harvard pushes all drinking and socialization into male-dominated social spaces.* They do it because girls feel uncomfortable identifying as feminists, because they don't want to get a bad rap as "the bitches who ruined yardfest." They do it because they can in this environment. It's not like men are thinking, "Oh look, Tyga's coming, better go rape some ladies because Tyga says they're skanks." This is already a problem on campus, whether Tyga performs or not. In short, to remove Tyga from Yardfest would be a false victory -- a feel-good show of activism that doesn't address the deeper problems at stake here -- and one that could alienate potential allies from a feminist movement at Harvard.

On a different note, Yardfest is literally the only event of the entire year where the students of Harvard come together as a unified population and have fun together. Every other weekend of the year, we splinter into exclusive social groups which are far more responsible for sexual assault on our campus than Tyga will ever be. So please, activists, don't ruin this for us. Don't force Harvard to bring in Tegan and Sara and a string quartet, resulting in a mass exodus right back to the final clubs -- where girls will barter sexual favors to boys for a drink and a decent time. By all means use this event to foster dialogue and debate. But please, let us enjoy this ratchet music together as classmates, as a community, and most importantly, as equals.

*Seriously, every year Harvard holds a student focus group to re-evaluate the drinking policy. They hold it on, like, a Friday night. Guess who goes? The administration can then say that "students on campus have voiced strong opinions that there should be no drinking games in any dorms." The college's policies are now even stricter than Massachusetts state laws. This accomplishes two things: 1) it pushes the student social scene even further into the hands of final clubs, which are not technically affiliated with the college and therefore can haze, underage drink, and what have you as much as they like; and 2) it forces the school to proclaim an unenforcable policy, thus undermining its other policies -- like those against academic dishonesty and sexual assault. 

**Update: you can read another incarnation of this on the Harvard Political Review website, in which I liken cancelling Tyga to giving a rape victim a Band-Aid.

What are your two cents on this? I'm curious to hear about the public perception of mysogny at Harvard -- if there even is one.

things i'd like to call right now

Happy 2013! Do you ever do that thing where you suspect something, don't say anything, and then blubber incoherently about how you "called it in your head" after it turns out to be true? And you don't get any credit, because you didn't actually call it? Well, here are some things I'd like to call right now, so I can later say I told you so with total credibility.

The year is 2032. Super-PACs are coming to the horrible realization that they have just poured billions of dollars down the toilet, because no relevant demographic actually cares that one candidate tweeted Marxist hashtags all through college or that the other once referred to his high school posse as his "bitchez" in a Facebook status. The much-prophesied mudslinging of dark social media histories has turned out to be almost as overhyped as the Mayan Apocalypse of 2012, Betamax (exactly), or LinkedIn.

Yet technology still manages to rear its ugly head. Just weeks before the election, the challenger's campaign is viciously thwarted by the makers of Snapchat...who have spent two decades quietly collecting material with which to blackmail an entire generation. Self-destructing photos? You seriously believed that?

Tragically, the humiliated candidate is murdered in a killing spree that same day by wife Taylor Whitmore, nee Swift, along with 30 campaign strategists and volunteers. Many heads are shaken; we should have known there was something a little off about a talented, rich and famous beauty who kept getting dumped.

Of course, the shooting is at least evidence that our country's right to bear arms has withstood years of onslaught by totalitarian pussies. Lawmakers finally came to their senses a while back and banned violent video games, because Auschwitz and the Battle of Gettysburg were obviously inspired by Grand Theft Auto III.

The author of this blog, having graduated with a degree in Sanskrit and Philosophy, is currently living off of food stamps in her parents' basement. She has sent her resume to every Dunkin' Donuts within a 25-mile radius and is feeling cautiously optimistic. In her spare time, she sells friendship bracelets on the streets of New Haven and belligerently encourages Yale students to follow their dreams.

In other news, laser tattoo removal is having a heyday because even "faith + hope" in classy, minimalist lowercase looks bad on arm flab. Also, everyone finally acknowledges that voice recognition technology is only slightly more frustrating than the DMV (which somehow still exists in a society that found proof of life on Mars) and renounces yelling at inanimate objects in public places.

Shockingly, there is no lack of school-age children. Despite such daunting handicaps as texting and hookup culture, Millennials have figured out how to date and mate just fine.

no words

Let more eloquent writers articulate the hollow pain of tragedy, while we pray for and mourn the victims of yesterday's massacre. But know that those prayers and tears are for ourselves, so that we will have the strength to move forward, and not for the children who lost their lives. We prayed and cried after Virginia Tech, and then there was Aurora. We prayed and cried after Aurora, and now 18 innocent boys and girls in my home state are dead. As social animals and moral beings, we must respond with grief. But if grief alone is our response, then we disrespect the memory of the victims. They were robbed of their chances to live long and meaningful lives. It would be wrong and self-serving of us to make their deaths meaningless as well. So mourn for our shaken nation, and pray for the strength of the survivors. But most of all, honor the victims: nothing will bring those children back, but if we demand change, at least they will not have died in vain.

If you're wondering, I fully support the right to bear arms, and I believe that is fully compatible with a demand for regulation. It is a fallacy to see this in black and white: guns everywhere, unchecked and uncontrolled, versus no guns at all. I am also skeptical of the slippery slope argument, which warns that gun control will lead us to a dystopian anarchy where all the criminals carry black-market M16s and the good folk of America are powerless to defend themselves. The way I see it, if we institute better gun security, anyone who wants and is qualified to own a gun should have nothing to worry about. If you're worried that you couldn't pass a background check or a gun training class, then you have bigger problems than being denied a firearm. Who saw Skyfall? Remember the personalized handgun that only Bond can shoot via palmprint recognition? That technology is real. It could reduce black-market gun proliferation, and eliminate the threat of lost or stolen weapons. Guess who's blocking it? Both the NRA, which claims it will limit freedom of gun ownership, and the Violence Policy Center, which is afraid that this will hurt the cause of gun control by making guns less scary. I feel myself teetering on the brink of a rant, which I think would be inappropriate in this time of sorrow. 

Stay strong, America, and let's do something.

This post was inspired by Lulu's facebook status yesterday, which I've share below:

to those saying "don't make this about politics:" my "thoughts and prayers" aren't helping the parents whose children were shot to death, they're not helping the victims, they change nothing. i don't know what, but something needs to be done. this "politics" -- the law itself -- may be the only way to curb these ever more prevalent atrocities. maybe evil can never be eradicated. but slaughter certainly shouldn't be easy.

 Lulu is a razor-sharp and fearless thinker. She always bucks convention and says the difficult thing. She's also got a way with words, which I invite you to enjoy by following her on twitter : https://twitter.com/luluchuru

why i'm spending a ton of money and time to go home and vote tomorrow

Well, the most pressing reason is because I forgot to request an absentee ballot. But that's not what I mean:

I am voting because I believe in freedom.
I am voting because I don't want my life choices dictated by someone else's religious beliefs.
I am voting because I don't want a president who thinks the dollars of the wealthy are sacred, but my body is his to control.

I am voting because I don't want a president who thinks it was "tragic" to bring our troops home from Iraq.
I am voting for the candidate who respects all men and women in uniform, regardless of their sexual orientation.
I am voting for the Commander in Chief who made good on his promise to kill Osama bin Laden, and who supports veterans with concrete legislation instead of photo ops.

I am voting because I believe you have the right to what you earn, and to me that says you shouldn't have to take a pay cut for being a woman.
I am voting because I believe you earn with help. Yes, I worked my butt off my whole life so I could come to Harvard. But schoolteachers taught me how to write essays and do division. They were able to do that because citizens paid to found a school, and construction workers built it from the ground up. I was able to go because my parents worked to send me there. They did so because their own parents taught them to value education. My grandparents were able to immigrate to the USA because they were offered student loans.
I am voting because I believe in lending a hand to help others get on their feet.

I am voting because I respect the elderly, who deserve the security of Medicare and many of whom have already saved $600 on prescription drugs since the Affordable Care Act was passed.
I am voting because I value education. One candidate in this election has helped 10 million students afford college through Pell Grants, prevented student loans from doubling, and is granting work permits to save smart, driven, patriotic students from deportation. The other candidate tells students to go to for-profit colleges like Full Sail University, which offers degrees in video game design and in which -- shocker! -- this candidate has a financial stake.

I am voting because I don't want to pay for a chain smoker's massively expensive late-stage cancer treatment, when I could instead pay $5 for a preventative screening that could save his life.
I am voting because I'd rather pay for a teenager's birth control than see her drop out of high school to raise yet another impoverished, unwanted child.
I am voting because a battered woman should not be denied health insurance for the pre-existing condition of domestic abuse.

I am voting because I believe in America, and in the freedom, dignity, and promise for which it stands.
I am voting because, in my mind, there has never been so much on the line.
Tomorrow, I am voting for Barack Obama.

public service announcement, dirty truths

The lovely comments you leave for me always make my day. They also worry me, though, because they suggest that some of you see me as some sort of role model. You shouldn’t. I’d feel so guilty if you actually turned out like me. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m pretty great in a lot of ways. But there’s also a side of me that you don’t see too often that is totally grungy, selfish, and indefensible. Anyways, after seeing The Campaign (twice, actually, and it was way funnier the second time because of lowered expectations), I’m inspired to give brutal honesty a shot. So here are ten reasons why I should not be your role model.

1. I think I’m pretty great in a lot of ways.
2. I crack my neck in public.
3. I talk about people behind their backs, and I can’t keep a secret for my life. Seriously – this reflects a major character flaw, and I’m working on it.
4. I judge people who think “myself” is a fancy version of “me” and “I,” or who say “utilize” in any context.
5. I’m horrible about writing thank you notes.
6. I was home alone tonight, so I sat in the kitchen in a sports bra and ate anchovies out of a can.
7. I am blogging about sitting in the kitchen in a sports bra eating anchovies out of a can.
8. I whine about people respecting my privacy, then I blog about sitting in the kitchen in a sports bra eating anchovies out of a can.
9. Massive self-absorption problems, as evidenced by my use of the word “I” over 20 times in a 300-word post.
10. I blame all of that on my generation.

Okay, re: allegations that I'm doing one these "oh, my greatest weaknesses are that I'm just too much of a perfectionist, and I spend WAY too much time volunteering!" type things, here are more:
11. I'm a quitter.
12. I buy useless stuff just because it's on sale.
13. I can be super bitter about deeply stupid things.
14. When I'm in the wrong, I instantly come up with a justifying narrative so I can work myself into a self-righteous fury.
15. I fantasize about breaking bones of people who patronize me.
16. Wasn't kidding about that last one.
17. I say cruel things when I'm angry.
18. I try to outdo people.
19. My judgment is questionable.
20. I spend a ton of time feeling sorry for myself, even though I basically lead a charmed life and have had every opportunity and advantage I could ask for.

You have been warned. I feel much better now. Have a great night! Feel free to share any dark secrets (yay catharsis!) in the comments. And let me know what you want me to post about next time. XO

on the road

Slow, sticky summer days have a way of running together, don't they? You almost forget that they are a succession; you don't feel them rolling forward. But forward they roll, of course, which is why there's never enough time -- not even enough time to do nothing. This is especially worrisome because it's often nothing that stays with you for the rest of your life. So we stopped putting off our list of nothings to do, hopped on a plane, and did what we always talked about doing: a family roadtrip through the American West.
I think the best thing about traveling the world is gaining an increased appreciation for what you have back home. I don't just mean that in a "home sweet home" way. I mean that, after visiting over 35 countries on 5 continents, I truly believe there is nothing in the world you can't find right here in the United States. I've burned incense in Buddhist monasteries and seen a Zoroastrian sky burial, but I felt equally out of my element touring the Salt Lake Tabernacle. I've seen Scylla and Charybdis, Caribbean beaches -- the water of our lakes is just as blazing blue. We have ruins, monuments, and little immigrant grannies cooking the most exotic food you could desire. It's all here..you just have to know where to look.
And nowhere is the sky so big.
Thought I'd share some pictures -- I'm struggling with this meager app, so apologies in advance.

Jackson, WY: view of Grand Tetons national park

Bear Lake, ID -- you can't really tell, but the water is this awesome turquoise shade

Mmm ribs. Giant, juicy ribs.

Under an arch made of antlers, Jackson again

Garden City, UT: signature fresh raspberry shakes right after crossing into Utah

vapid q+a...i'll regret this in the morning

I really shouldn’t be posting right now – it’s one of those nights where I have snark coming out of my ears. It’s not entirely my fault. This is the internal dialogue I’ve been having all day:

Me: Hello, body, I’m bored and hormonal. What should I do?
Body: I think you should go eat red meat and dairy products and any white carbs you can get your hands on.
Me: Wow, I wish I could just crave chocolate like a normal person.
Body: Way too mainstream. It would be hilarious and unique if you were allergic to chocolate. If you eat chocolate, I’ll start bleeding out of your nose. Won’t that be funny?
Me: No. No, not really.
Body: Haha, I was distracting you while you ate that entire duck.

So you get a blog post, and I get more things to regret in the morning.

I have to pass a qualifying drive to pass the drivers ed class and I failed twice. I guess I have no common sense. Have you ever failed before? Seems like the tiger cubs have no flaws in them, but there's no success without failure. As a role model, can you tell me what to do? P.S. I'm not stupid. I've won math and writing competitions, and I've received straight A's up to this point.

I fail constantly. People assume the huge scar on my knee is from ACL surgery, when in reality I tripped over my feet and faceplanted on the sidewalk. I wrote a post about failing here. As for the driving test: You’ll pass! Don’t worry, my parents and boyfriend think I’m a terrible driver, and I still got a license! Stake out the area and do a practice drive the day before, memorizing all the stop signs or whatever. During the road test, check your rearview mirror in a super exaggerated way. Call the DMV guy “sir.” If it’s a woman, it’s hopeless and you should just go home. Best of luck, I'm rooting for you :)

You need to get some new poses. You pose the same way (head tilt, arm on hip, and I'm better than you smile) in every picture on your site.

Clearly, your 8th grade yearbook did not feature a full-page candid of you with your mouth hanging open while wearing a neon green fat suit in a batting cage at the Halloween Fair. And you guys thought I was traumatized by my parents! That said, in order to prove that I am able to make other faces, I bestow upon you this gem:

Why do you and your mom have very high-heeled shoes? Do you really need them or is it like saying "I wish I could be taller?" It gives me a sense that you cannot accept fully what you are or the shorter version of you.

Yes, you are right. I wear heels because my life is fraught with insecurity and self-loathing. Someday, when I accept the true me, I will abandon high heels. I will also never shave, bathe, or floss again, as those are all things we do because we can’t embrace who we really are.

And since you asked, and I like physics: high heels cause an upward shift in a woman’s center of gravity. The body adjusts by arching the spine, which a) increases sway in the back, therefore maintaining balance, and b) pushes the chest out and buttocks back, giving the illusion of a more shapely figure. High heels also tighten the calves and tilt the buttocks anywhere from 30 to 40 degrees, making them appear more perky (scientific word) and therefore desirable to potential romantic prospects.

I went there.

Leave me a comment or leave me to wallow in my shame. Next post will have content I promise. Goodnight!